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5 More Harry Potter Spin-Offs Potterheads Want To See

3 Aug

Potter Poster

As a self-confessed, diagnosed and all round Potterhead, I felt inspired to write an article after reading an article on WhatCulture about 5 Spin Offs that should be made in light of Rowling’s announcement that a movie would be made based on the life and adventures of Newt Scammander, the author of “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them”. The announcement has set the Potterworld on fire which has mostly been subdued sine the release of the final film and the announcement of Pottermore. The latest movie announcement has roused up the Potter fan-base, which is one of the biggest in the world, and has a very strong hardcore contingent that will seemingly follow Rowling to the end of the world to get another taste of the Potter franchise.

With the Potterverse now expended to include not only the main books and movies, but also a theme park, several video games, an online interactive experience as well as additional book content and now a movie that takes place outside the main narrative. Still Potterheads are hungry for more content, and while Rowling seems hesitant, she seems to once again be obliging her fans with the creation of the Scammander movie.

Following on from the previously mentioned article, this is a list of 5 more spin offs that JK Rowling should make with under the Harry Potter franchise.

The post 5 More Harry Potter Spin-Offs Potterheads Want To See appeared first on WhatCulture!.

6 Reasons Why Living In The Harry Potter Universe Would Suck

27 Sep

Harry Potter Hogwarts1

Practically every Harry Potter fan has thought about what it would be like to suddenly find an owl at your house carrying a Hogwarts acceptance letter (I may be twenty years old but I can still dream, damn it!). The Harry Potter universe is pure fictional awesomeness where anything is possible and all of your wildest dreams can come true. But so can your worst nightmares.

Because when you think about it, the Harry Potter universe would be kind of a crappy place to live in. Yes being a wizard would be amazing but behind all of the Butterbeer, charms lessons, and Quidditch, there’s a lot wrong with the wizarding world that should make you think twice about heading to Platform 9 …

6. The Flawed Banking System

Harry Potter Gringotts

I bet you’re about to label me as obsessive and pedantic for discussing Harry Potter’s finacial system (Which I am) but it’s actually pretty disturbing and ill-thought out when you consider it. Gringotts is basically the wizards’ equivalent of the Bank of England except it’s run by goblins and takes protecting people’s valuables incredibly seriously. You won’t catch Gringotts losing loads of other people’s gold on bad investments.

Although protecting the wealth of practically an entire country is important, the defences of the maximum security vaults at Gringotts take things just a little bit too far. Rather than simply sticking with the rollercoaster-style carts (which really needs to become a theme park ride) that are likely to make you throw up and doors that only Gringotts goblins can open, everything stored inside a maximum security vault is enchanted with Gemino (a spell which replicates something) and Flagrante (a spell that makes something burn when you touch it) curses. So if you do manage to somehow break into a maximum security vault, the second you try to nick anything, you’ll get crushed to death by hundreds of worthless burning copies of whatever you try to steal. And the vaults are only checked to see if anybody is in there every ten years so it would be a while before your crushed and blistered corpse was found.

Outside of the vaults, Gringotts’ lower levels are guarded by dragons that are chained up on a permanent basis, have been partially blinded to make them more savage, and have been repeatedly attacked with burning hot swords in a Pavlovian procedure that makes them scared of loud noises, allowing Gringotts employees and customers to get past them with certain equipment. If the RSPCA existed in the Harry Potter universe, its members would have aneurisms after visiting Gringotts.

Another flaw with wizard banking is that the goblins are in charge of it. Not only are goblins pretty bloodthirsty (as their security measures show) and hate wizards thanks to the huge number of wars between the two species and the law that makes it illegal for goblins to carry wands, but they also have a completely different sense of ownership to wizards.

The goblin philosophy is that the true owner of an object is its creator and that if somebody inherits a goblin-made object (which includes all wizard currency), they have to pay for it again. So all it would really take is for one goblin to say “To hell with this. Let’s take back what’s ours” and British wizards can kiss their money goodbye. Especially since, as Bill Weasley tells Harry, “there is a belief among some goblins, and those at Gringotts are perhaps most prone to it, that wizards cannot be trusted in matters of gold and treasure”. Well done, wizards of Britain. You’ve entrusted the safeguarding of all your money to a race that hates you and doesn’t trust you with it.

And finally, since there is never any mention of any other wizard bank in the UK, it’s fair to assume the wealth of the whole wizard population of the UK is kept within one location. The wizarding population are putting all of their eggs into one basket. A shockingly well defended basket but still one basket.

The post 6 Reasons Why Living In The Harry Potter Universe Would Suck appeared first on WhatCulture!.

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